Am I OK?

[fluffymark]

I think I'm beginning to lose it. I hope not, but the signs are there. I've just shuddered at realising the number of times I've asked various people the simple question 'Are you OK?' today. In all cases many times to each person. Which is getting a bit obsessive and slightly odd. Especially as I already know the answer in all cases, even before asking them the first time. So why am I asking them? And I now realise the question I've been wanting to ask, but have been subconsciously scared of doing so, and therefore projected the object question into the second person. All the time what I've really been asking is 'Am *I* OK?'. Although nobody else spotted this psychological oddity either.
As I said, I must be going nuts.

Comments

[excelsis.livejournal.com]

Do you want people to know you care about them? That could be a reason you keep on asking.
*hugs* whatever it is

[fluffymark]

I hope people know I care about them. I shouldn't need to have to ask them that question several times a day for them to realise that, although admittedly it may be necessary if someone has exceedingly low self-esteem and doesn't know me very well. Maybe it is me just trying to reassure people like that (and of course, thats what it comes across as as a literal meaning). But I've got a horrible suspiscion that the primary intention of the question lay elsewhere, and the literal interpretation is secondary to that, even if both are correct.
I'm training myself to spot my curious behaviour patterns like that, and work out what I really mean when I say things. As I've said elsewhere, I want to know what games I'm playing.

[duranorak.livejournal.com]

It's often the case that even though we know exactly what the answer is, we still ask people "Are you ok?" When I do it I can mean any number of things, though it's usually something along the lines of "I know you're not ok, but do you want to talk to me about it/is there anything I can do?"
If it's nothing like that, and you're aware of other motives behind it, then...~waves hands~ I don't know what to say, and I should probably just hug you and let you chase it through in your head.
So, well, ~hug~. And stuff.

Are you ok?

E.
x

[fluffymark]

I think you're mainly right. I'm definately still worried about these people, and sometimes I don't know what else to say. I want to help......I just fear sometimes I want to help too much. If that's possible? Is it possible? *wonders*

At the moment, I'm a happy little bunny :) :). See,I've been good, and gotten some early nights and some sleep. And *Not* posted when i've been feeling bad. Now I'm feeling happy again, so I'm going through a million things I've got to reply to.....*oooops*

[duranorak.livejournal.com]

I just fear sometimes I want to help too much
Syntax confusion : do you mean you want too much to help, or you think the help you want to give is too much?
Either way it probably does make sense (though I've only had three hours sleep and I can't really tell right now) but...you're happy right now. And still helping. So...you're probably doing any number of things right. ~smile~
I'll endeavour to actually make sense next time, I promise. I'm just sleepy.

E.
x

[incy.livejournal.com]

Are you OK? :)

[fluffymark]

:) :)

I am now, thankyou :)

[spidosaur.livejournal.com]

You seemed ok to me on Sunday. Perhaps the students got to you. Students are like that, its a special talent they have. Or perhaps you're just re-treading the mind-readers greeting... you're ok, how am I?.

[fluffymark]

Aha.....but there were certain topics I was *avoiding* talking about on sunday. Thats probably why I appeared OK. You're quite right though, the students are beginning to wear on me - Like theytake up almost all my free time, so I feel like a slave right now, and have lost track of me, and who I am, as I've not time to myself.
*giggle* You're Ok, and so am I :) Thankyou, David.

[emarkienna.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[fluffymark]

Thankyou, Mark :) :) :) Hugs are always welcome. I'm OK now.

[eveilena.livejournal.com]

I think the fact that you're alert to your own possibly weird behaviour and have the wisdom to analyse it means that you're probably very far from mad. But I understand that you're scared *hug*

*........*

[fluffymark]

As you've probably guessed, I've been reading that Eric Berne book a lot again. Thankyou ever so much for it! *manyhugs*. You're a wonderful friend, eve.
And I had'nt noticed I was scared, but now you point it out - Yes.... I was very scared. I'm less scared now, but I think you mamged to get things very correct. I'm not *upset*, I've just been scared of what may happen to certain people I *love* (and there are many more of those than I'll ever let on to anyone....), and the consequences fill me with dread at times. Like this last week, I'm a little scared thing, hoping that what I fear will just go away. The thing I fear has not gone away, I've just faced the fear and mastered it. Maybe thats better that way?

Re:

[eveilena.livejournal.com]

*hug* I would say so, definitely... you are a brave princess.

and thanks :)