By the time I got to the bit about being "a guardian of unborn ideas" I was giggling lots...I mean, honestly...
But I want to be me. I don't want to be anything I'm not. Does that make sense?
Yes, of course. I'm not entirely sure that SelectSmart tests are the best things to base such worries on, though.
(Incidentally and totally unrelatedly, I should probably warn you that my journal will make absolutely no sense to you for at least a week, and after that the sense will still be only partial, but by then you'll be used to my disjointed pointlessness. ~g~ But thank you for adding me and I hope you don't mind that I added you too...)
True, I know I shouldn't worry too much. And to be honest I play it up a lot on here that I worry about such things. But still, theres some part of me thats says that because of my input into the tests it game me *that* particular result, and even if its only vague and absurd, these tests must be saying at least something about the real me. Don't you think?
LJ is a good place to play up one's worries - you get supportive comments and good advice from people you like and people who like you, it can't be a bad thing.
Yes, the tests probably do say something about the real you - if it does concern you though, it's often worth checking if you can what all the other possible results were... Do you identify with anything that particular result says - if you get past the pretentiousness, anyway? ~curious~
True, once you get past the amusing pretentiousness of it, theres some truth behind it. I've been having an in depth email conversation with eveilena about exactly how hidden my real persona is. Mainly playing games with psychology. I think I'm only beginning to admit to myself what I really am.
I think I'm only beginning to admit to myself what I really am.
You intrigue me, especially as I know so little about you. Your journal seems frank and fairly direct, but avoids introspection and is startlingly upbeat. What are you hiding? ~smile~ It takes a lot to acknowledge anything about oneself - most people never even think about it.
What am I hiding? More likely: What am I hiding from?
I used to hide from certain aspects of my past that I'd rather forget for a number of reasons. I pretended certain events or certain people never happened. But It didn't work. So I'm trying to admit that there is another side to me that does exist. But genereally I'm in control, and while I try and find Games and Ulterior Motives in my own actions, I don't always want to stop them.
*Good*. You're lucky that you can do that, you know - know what's behind what you're doing and still go ahead and do it. Particularly if there are likely to be things you don't much want to think about. (Ach, so much of what I'm saying comes out sounding like it's taken from the Teach-Yourself-Counselling textbook, I'm not meaning it like that at all.) Often people take self-analysis too far, and wind up afraid to do anything at all. Go you!
This would have made more sense if I'd been having less of a bad day...~smile~ Sorry.
Oh it's not that difficult. It just requires me to spend time thinking 'Do I really mean that?' but even if I don't mean what I say directly, I can still say it. I can make myself transparent enough if I like that people can see what I really mean, even if thats not what I say. As long as I know i'm playing the Game, I'm safe.
How easy do you find it to make yourself transparent to some you're talking to, but hide your real meaning from the others around? Just curious... It's a game I wish I could play - I am almost always more transparent than I want to be. (Only totally opaque around my parents and teachers, for some reason.) I think I feel too much. ~shrug~
Ooops I must have given you slightly the wrong idea. I think when I'm transparent I'm transparent to everyone. I don't hide the real meaning from others around. It would be useful to be able to sometimes! :)
Nothing in particular, I just...I don't know. I like you, and therefore you fascinate me? I don't tend to like people who don't hold my attention to a great extent...~shrug~
Wish I could explain, but I think you're just going to have to live with it. ~smile~
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2002-04-12 08:54 am (UTC)Possibly just a pretentious thing.
But then, *that's* a good thing.
As I recall that's the one I got, as well, so...~grin~
E.
x
no subject
Date: 2002-04-12 09:07 am (UTC)But I want to be me. I don't want to be anything I'm not. Does that make sense?
no subject
Date: 2002-04-12 09:25 am (UTC)But I want to be me. I don't want to be anything I'm not. Does that make sense?
Yes, of course.
I'm not entirely sure that SelectSmart tests are the best things to base such worries on, though.
(Incidentally and totally unrelatedly, I should probably warn you that my journal will make absolutely no sense to you for at least a week, and after that the sense will still be only partial, but by then you'll be used to my disjointed pointlessness. ~g~ But thank you for adding me and I hope you don't mind that I added you too...)
E.
x
no subject
Date: 2002-04-14 02:44 pm (UTC)But still, theres some part of me thats says that because of my input into the tests it game me *that* particular result, and even if its only vague and absurd, these tests must be saying at least something about the real me. Don't you think?
no subject
Date: 2002-04-15 01:30 am (UTC)Yes, the tests probably do say something about the real you - if it does concern you though, it's often worth checking if you can what all the other possible results were...
Do you identify with anything that particular result says - if you get past the pretentiousness, anyway? ~curious~
E.
x
no subject
Date: 2002-04-15 05:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-04-15 05:52 am (UTC)You intrigue me, especially as I know so little about you. Your journal seems frank and fairly direct, but avoids introspection and is startlingly upbeat.
What are you hiding? ~smile~
It takes a lot to acknowledge anything about oneself - most people never even think about it.
E.
x
no subject
Date: 2002-04-15 06:37 am (UTC)More likely: What am I hiding from?
I used to hide from certain aspects of my past that I'd rather forget for a number of reasons. I pretended certain events or certain people never happened. But It didn't work. So I'm trying to admit that there is another side to me that does exist. But genereally I'm in control, and while I try and find Games and Ulterior Motives in my own actions, I don't always want to stop them.
no subject
Date: 2002-04-15 09:05 am (UTC)*Good*.
You're lucky that you can do that, you know - know what's behind what you're doing and still go ahead and do it. Particularly if there are likely to be things you don't much want to think about.
(Ach, so much of what I'm saying comes out sounding like it's taken from the Teach-Yourself-Counselling textbook, I'm not meaning it like that at all.)
Often people take self-analysis too far, and wind up afraid to do anything at all. Go you!
This would have made more sense if I'd been having less of a bad day...~smile~ Sorry.
E.
x
no subject
Date: 2002-04-15 05:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-04-16 01:38 am (UTC)It's a game I wish I could play - I am almost always more transparent than I want to be. (Only totally opaque around my parents and teachers, for some reason.) I think I feel too much. ~shrug~
You're so fascinating. ~smile~
E.
x
no subject
Date: 2002-04-17 06:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-04-17 07:11 am (UTC)Doesn't make you any less fascinating though. ~smile~
E.
x
no subject
Date: 2002-04-17 07:24 am (UTC)I'm intrigued that I appear to fascinate you. Anything you want to know about me?
no subject
Date: 2002-04-17 08:12 am (UTC)Wish I could explain, but I think you're just going to have to live with it. ~smile~
E.
x