Sitting on the tube

[fluffymark]

atreic and the_alchemist have been having a LJ discussion and poll (? now vanished ?) on the rights and wrongs of giving up your seat to someone on the tube. Go read.

Which leads me rather shamefully to this morning's journey in. *bigsigh*

Managed to get a seat on the Central Line at Leytonstone, which was good. At Stratford, a woman boarded, moved in front of the seats and started glaring at everyone. I wondered what she wanted - she looked a bit insane. A few minutes later someone else offered her their seat, which she sulkily took. It transpired that she wanted a seat because she was pregnant, but she didn't look pregnant. A very minor bulge, yes, but only obvious after she'd sat down. I felt horribly guilty about not spotting this, and failing to offer my seat, and she sat opposite me and glared at me all the way to Bank, which didn't help any and really began to freak me out. What should I have done? *confused* I mean if she was obviously pregnant I'd have happily given up my seat, but I really didn't notice she was until too late. *distressed*

Now I'm beginning to think that these Badges for Commuters aren't such a bad idea after all.

Comments

[elettaria.livejournal.com]

It really isn't fun being young and invisibly disabled. I'm 27 and have had ME since I was 19, and I have it pretty severely. I only acquired a walking stick a couple of months ago. Before that, I'd have to pluck up my courage to start asking, "Could someone let me sit down? I'm disabled." If you ask in a general way like that, it's unlikely that anyone is going to stand up, and they all glare at you because you look fine (if you know me well enough you might be able to tell when I'm on the point of collapse because I go even paler, but that's about it), and if you target someone in particular you often get unspoken, but very clear, sulks and grumbles. In addition, it took years for me to accept that I would need to label myself as disabled if I wanted any help in this society, it's a horrible thing to have to do and my best friend still disapproves of my using the word. And I'd already had years of discrimination, years of doctors, social services, family saying "healthy young girl like you, what's all this fuss about?" or "please stop going on about it, other people are much worse off than you".

Now I have a walking stick, so everyone has permission to stare at me, and believe me they do. Wobble a bit and everyone's assessing how ill you really are. If I'm lucky I get pitying looks as well. And it doesn't always mean you're guaranteed a seat, either. I use public transport as rarely as possible because it's mostly too painful and exhausting even with a seat, but the business of getting one put me off as well.

[rowan-leigh.livejournal.com]

What word are you supposed to use instead? 'Differently abled' is silly, and a phrase that I'd suspect wasn't actually coined by disabled people.

I quite happily use the word to refer to myself these days, even though my disabilities are mental, not physical.

[elettaria.livejournal.com]

"Chonically ill" is more apt, but you can't really use it in the same way for everything.