Jehovah's Witnesses and Male Clothing sizes

[fluffymark]

Firstly - Thank you Thank you Thank you all for the host of useful replies to my job hunting queries. I've been organized and even applied for 5 jobs today. And millions of hugs to evil_nick for not only offering hints about how to polish my CV, but even going beyond the call of duty in attempting to find me a job at Panasonic. I'll get the new-shiny-CV back to you soon Nick, and you can pimp me at them. Yaaaaaay. *hugseveryone*

Now, I need hints in how to get rid of Jehovah's witnesses. They knocked on our door this morning, and one of them saw me and instantly started quoting passages about evil from Job (don't know what they were trying to tell me?). The other one was far more scary - he just smiled and said

`Hello Mark - are you still at Queen Mary College?'

Aaaaaaaarrgh!!!! One of the Jehovah's witnesses knows who I am. *hides*

You have no idea how scared I was. It transpired that he was on the Java course I taught last year. While the conversation had been turned away from sin and evil and instead focussed on computer programming (I'm sure I must be the first to discuss computer programming with Jehovah's witnesses), the downside was I felt I couldn't be rude and just shut the door on them. And because I talked to them and they know me, they now think I like them, and want to come back. Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Fortunately I'm moving in a months time, but what if they come back before then? What do I do???? Help!!! *hidesinalittleballincorner*

Men's clothing sizes are silly. As in, they tell me I'm not a man. I need to buy a suit, so today I go into a suit shop. They ask me what size.

Eeep!

`ummmmmmm...I've no idea' comes my small mouselike reply. *hides*

You see, I don't usually buy men's clothes. I know what size I am for women's clothing, but men's clothing defeats me. And theres a good reason for this. Men's clothes aren't designed in my shape and size. After trying on a couple of suits at the far extreme far end of the rail, it was determined there was nothing in the whole shop that would fit me. I was highly amused by this whole revelation. *giggles*. They found they could eventually order one for me in my size, and now I'm going to have to wait a week. And it's only going to get worse - I'm losing weight again. Someone send me chocolate. Please! *flutterseyelashes*

Comments

[rowan-leigh.livejournal.com]

In that situation, I think the easiest thing to do would just be to calmly tell them that you're not interested, and if they persist, shut the door on them. They must be getting used to far ruder behaviour than that by now.

[pinkdormouse.livejournal.com]

I have only a vague idea what size I am in men's or women's clothes. Hence catalogues and M&S are really useful for ordering/grabbing a range of sizes and sending some all back depending on which, if any fit in all the places they should.

Good luck with the job ting.

Gina

[snow-leopard.livejournal.com]

The Jegovahs Witness thing is easy - arange a fetish party and invite them around at the same time!!! I managed to put the Mormans (sorry "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints") off as they came around a Sunday morning and we had a load of semi-naked goth crashed on the couch, sofa-bed and floor and I was still in my eyeliner!! I think they thought we were some drug parlour/bordello. Giggle.
As for the weight loss - damn it go to a doctor. It could be something serious and you need to get it checked out. Even if it ISN'T serious you need to get a doctor to help you with a diet to help you PUT ON weight. Its getting silly when you weigh less than me and I am only just in the boundaries for "healthy weight".

[kmazzy.livejournal.com]

i will lard you right up after Heather! never fear! (maybe before Heather too.)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_lois_/]

/me sends chocolate and icecream and all the fattening things that I'm not eating atm.

However more seriously you *should* go see a doctor if you are losing weight and there is not obvious reason for it, ie you are still eating sensible amounts of food, not suddenly dong lots and lots of exercise or something. If you're not careful you'll disappear in a puff of smoke.

You know the easy answer...

[alektoeumenides.livejournal.com]

Options for putting on weight:

1/ eat more cirki
2/ go visit my mum for dinner

I rest my case :)

Seriously though, perhaps you should see a doctor about it. After all, you do eat normally(ish) and certainly shouldn't be losing weight so quickly.

Meeples.

[gnimmel.livejournal.com]

Eeep, I didn't know you had any weight left to lose! You'll have to start tying a string to your ankle for people to grab in case you start to float away...

Had dream about men in dresses last night. Beginning to wonder if this is your subtle psychological influence, since haven't seen a man in a dress apart from you for rather too long. :)

[inskauldrak.livejournal.com]

right - extra bag of chips for you tonight! And yes, people are right, if this doesn't stop *soon* we will send you to the doctor.

On the Jehovah front, we could:

a) shout "stone him" whenever they say the J-word
b) say we're catholic (my mum swears by this)
c) leave some of my commie stuff about by the door (I have a lovely poster of Lenin)

[ixwin.livejournal.com]

You could always try robert_jones' approach (http://www.livejournal.com/users/robert_jones/18210.html) to Jehovah's Witnesses.

And I agree with the comments above about going to a doctor about your weight...I don't want you disappearing on us!

Ohferchrissake...

[(Anonymous)]

If you have good reason to think you have a thyroid problem which is preventing you from gaining weight then sitting around making up excuses not to see a Dr is just plain stupid. Could you not have registered with the college medical practice?

And have you called NHS Direct to ask their views on your imminent vanishing? 0845 4647. It isn't brilliant but if they say there is something wrong them you should definitely take action sooner rather than later. You can register as a visitor for a one off appointment at any GP surgery. Admittedly weightloss may not appear to be an emergency, but if you are becoming even more tiny than you are already then there must be something very wrong. And they can do a blood test to check out your thyroid function then and there.

There is an italian ice-cream parlour on Charing X Rd round the corner from the National Portrait Gallery. Their stuff has a creamier texture than the ice cream from Marine Ices but is still delicious.

I share your problem with being nasty to religious people at the door. This may be one disadvantage of Balham - we have a lot of churches. On the whole whilst I don't allow myself to argue back. Being a Witness changes someones entire lifestyle, they may be ostracised if they leave the faith. So in an argument about religion they have a lot more to lose than I have - and what's the point of arguing if there is no possibility of winning. I really want to share my insights into evolutionary theory with them but I restrain myself.

Down girl.

Penny

[neonchameleon.livejournal.com]

Two known ways of getting rid of Jehovas Witnesses (polite refusal is only a stopgap). The first is to out-argue them and be better at theology than they are, something that isn't too hard (although IME they tend to know a lot of limited quotations). This usually just gets them extremely confused. (Pointing out that Jehovah is actually a mis-reading of the bible is always fun, if a cheap shot)

The other is to invite them in to help sacrifice a lamb or calf, preferably when wearing either a dressing gown that looks like a robe or goth clothing. (Note: sacrifice a lamb = lamb chops). Variations on theme also work.

(The apocryphal invite them in and they get confused doesn't work).

Note: IME, as long as you can steer them away from religion, evangelists tend to be nice, well meaning people.

As for not knowing your size in suits, don't worry- I don't have much of a clue as to mine either.