The oddness of Russians

[fluffymark]

Shiny new passport (with traditional horrible mugshot) arrived this week! Yay! Since then I've been playing the apply-for-shiny-new-Russian-visa game. I've done it twice before now, so I throught I knew all the quirks, but it just gets odder and odder. And more stressful!!! *pulls hair out* So lets see - *deep breath*

To get to Russia, the first thing you need is an invitation. Which of course, being an invite to Russia, is charged in US dollars. Um, ok... but dollars are so cheap right now. *yay*

The invite request is best done online which is good, as then it should be send back in a matter of seconds. Or so they claim, but after hitting confirm, it then says they only reply in office hours and it'll arrive first thing in the morning (which amazingly, it did - at 6am the invite landed in my inbox when the office opened in Russia). This was annoying as I wanted to print it out last night. *grrrrr*

The invitation assumes you're a normal tourist staying at a hotel, so all tourist invites are issued from hotels. If like me, I'm going to Russia to visit a friend, the system is bent to fit. They've created a totally fake itinerary for me, with all these hotels I'm not staying at and places I'm not visiting - it's a genius work of fiction. This is the way the system works. *bemused*

So I take this fictional itinerary to the Russian consulate to get a visa. They open perfectly sensible hours. Like 9-12am only. Um. The queue is huge. If you're not seen by 12, it's come back tomorrow. So everyone wants to get there first, and if you're not in the queue well before 9am, you're not getting in. Very friendly. *sigh*

Despite it being cold and early in the morning, they make everyone queue outside. The gates let 3 people in at a time, and then only every hour or so. *shivers*

There is a sign inside the consulate reporting "Due to high demand for visas at the moment, we have decided to close on Wednesdays" ??!? How does that work? *boggle*

There are 5 windows inside with separate queues for different things, and nothing to tell you which queue you should be in, and all the staff only want to speak in Russian. Fortunately I already knew how it works (one queue for personal applications, and then another queue for the cashier to pay), but it is still most disconcerting. *confused*

The cashier only accepts cash. We are talking severe financial dark ages here. *sigh*

Althought they decide there and then if you'll get the visa, they sit on it for a week and a half. Just for fun. And I'll then have to go back in person again (at entirely different unfriendly hours) to collect my passport and visa. Which will be more unfriendly queues. *anothersigh*

When I get to Russia, the visa needs to be registered. To prove I'm staying where I claim I am. Which I'm of course, not, because the invitation was a work of fiction. So the registration process will be equally a piece of fabricated nonsense. Which I'll have to pay for. And probably queue in the Moscow snow somewhere. *wails*

See, Russians are insane. Yay for doseybat is visiting for dinner this evening, and is no exception to the insanity, but maybe she can tell us mere mortals why Russians do things this strange and baffling way.

And I'm visiting Cambridge this weekend! *littlehappydance*

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nicolai_/]

> Due to high demand for visas at the moment, we have decided to close on Wednesdays" ??!? How does that work?

They are reminding you who has the upper hand here.

[alektoeumenides.livejournal.com]

Heh, they've always done the "not open on Wednesday" thing. God alone knows why.

Good to know that you've got the whole process on the move though! Have you got any more information about registration - did Visa House tell you what to do? Of course they fabricated an itinery for you - you should have the seen the itineries I've had on my "entry visas" (ie tourist visas schools have got for me at the last minute just to get me in). Meh. Let me know what registration will involve so we can get it done asap and if I need to find anywhere then I can prepare for it.

Just some other notes regarding your visit:

1. Don't bother with decorations. They seem to have loads here in Moscow, something I never noted before. Not great, but it'll do. A supermarket near me has a fair amount of tinsel and even some stockings. Of course, if you've found something really special and cute, bring it. But I was thinking of perhaps you getting here and then us treking to the supermarket to buy decorations and food? It's a very good supermarket and open 24 hours, so it would work perfectly...decorating the tree and food buying on your first evening. Sound good?

2. I might want you to bring a warm, silly fluffy coat for me. Things here are looking cold and my mother never uses the coat. You have been warned. I'll talk to you closer to the time about it

3. I might want you to get me a present for myself. That palm organiser. I could buy it here but it will probably be in Russki. Maybe. Again, I'll talk to you closer to the time.

4. Anything you bring/presents must be light/disposable. Please don't bring books or anything. It'll only be more crap to drag back.

5. Warm clothes - started buying them yet? Want any advice/help? Let me know.

6. Pick your bag carefully. I have *no* idea what the route from the airport is like (I've never used that particular airport before) but there are two stations we could get off at to get to my house. One is easier to get to (ie an easier interchange on the metro) but the walk is more precarious and "scenic" (ie longer). The second has a shorter, more managable walk, but is a bit of a pain to travel to. Either way: snow on ground makes wheely bag an arse. However, backback means falling over is painful. You can't win. Personally, I'd go for a backback, as at least then you're not trying to drag it over ice. Try to keep extra bags to a minimum. The less crap you're carrying, the better.

Can't think of anything else right now. But you should probably email or call so we can talk about practicalities like this.

Pssst!

[791-43.livejournal.com]

The whole point of the queue outside is that Russians get to skip it. ;-) We just waltz past the queue and say 'Легализация' into the intercom and Shazam!

All you need to do is learn how to say 'Легализация' without an accent. :-p

[kazina.livejournal.com]

Unfotunately, I'd say it's just as irritating for a Russian to get a visa to England. But I like Russian embassies more. The women always look more dolled-up than the ones in the British ones.

[fluffymark]

visahouse.com says

Important: If you come to Moscow with a visa issued by our company we will register it free of charge. Please, contact us immediately after arriving in Russia.

Contact information
Tel./Fax: +7(095) 721-1021
Emergency phone number: +7(095) 517-2847
Address: 22 Bolshaya Nikitskaya Str., Office 18, Moscow, 103009, Russia

and also, later on the page (although is unclear how much of this they will do for me, given they've already faked my itenerary - maybe they'll fake a hotel registration instead.)

To register your visa in Moscow is to be presented the following within 2 working days after arrival in Russia:
Request for registration letter from the Russian company that issued your Visa Invitation;
Official state registration fee;
Your original passport with visa and Migration Card;
Application to Moscow PVS for registration (PVS_Reg_Form.PDF, 30 Kb);
Letter for registration from REU with signatures of all the people over 14 living in the apartament (REU_Reg_Letter.PDF, 18 Kb).

Eeep!

All other stuff sounds good and sensible. :)